Week 2-Slipping The Surly Bonds Of Kerban, To Punch The Kraken In The Face!

As you may all have heard this has been a historic week for our people.  We have put the first kerbal into orbit and returned him to the planet.  It's been hectic, scary and exciting for all of us involved and one mostly devoid of explosions.  Hopefully I can give you some context to the stories you have been hearing in the media.


This week started with a discussion between the engineers, the pilots and I about the possibility of launching our first manned craft.  I mostly listened because of my lack of experience but I did make some key points.  There was no point in doing a mission unless we could return the pilot to the planet and it was better to orbit the planet than to do a lame sub-orbital flight.  That meant we were to get With those two things in mind we did a test with an unmanned pod with a modified version of the Kerman I.  We watched as it got about 10 km off the ground and  unceremoniously blew up.  The same happened again after we thought we fixed the issue.  It was then we realized something new was needed to get the kind of weight we had into even the lowest orbit.

Behold, Kerman II!

This was the beginning of the Kerman II  launch system, seeing as I had no say in the last system I decided that I should roll up my sleeves and put 6 years of box experience to the test.  It turns out that box design and rocket design are actually quite different and my love of angles wasn't quite enough to help me with the redesign.  In the end I didn't have much say in the building of the thing, but, while disappointed, I was able to put my time and expertise towards something almost equally as useful.

 I took my time to formulate some objectives for the organization. Every organization has a set of objectives and goals and I was surprised to find the ones listed by the last director to simply read "Get stuff into space."  I hope my list is a bit more professional than my predecessor so in that spirit, and to assure the public I am not going to be sending feline pilots into orbit I have decided to list them here.  This is also in light of certain politicians making challenges to prove we did at least start on a plan before he opened his mouth.

It shall be the policy of the Kerbal Space Program to achieve these goals, in order, and in a time frame to be set by budgetary constraints and other limitations imposed by the board or other managing organizations.

1. To achieve a piloted ship launch into low kerban orbit, 70 km height.
2. To achieve a piloted ship launch into stable and reliable orbit, 150 km height.
3. To achieve a piloted vehicle rendezvous with an automated drone, at least 100 km height.
4. To achieve a piloted vehicle rendezvous with another piloted vehicle, at least 100 km height.
5. To achieve EVA transfer of crew from one piloted vehicle to another, at least 100 km height.
6. To place a permanent station in transfer orbit and obtain a permanent crew, 100 km height.
7. To achieve a stable orbit around the Mun with a mapping satellite, 100 km orbit.
• Secondary goal, map surface of the Mun for landing locations, base locations, minerals and for scientific research.
• Secondary goal, land probes on surface to study any irregular phenomena significant to scientific endeavors. 
8. To achieve a piloted vehicle transfer burn to an orbit around the Mun, 100 km orbit.
• Secondary goal, send automated landing craft in parking orbit around Mun for future piloted landings.
9. To achieve a landing on the Mun and to return the pilots to Kerban.
10. To achieve a permanent base on the Mun for research and resource gathering purposes.
11. To place a permanent station in transfer orbit of the Mun and obtain a permanent crew, 100 km height.

Signed,
            Paul Kerman 

            Director of Kerbal Space Program...and Boxes

 After building the Kerman II, and with our direction now mapped, we were ready to try our first crewed flight.  Jebediah Kerman volunteered for the mission, some say out of bravery but those of us who knew him know it was because they kicked him off of the centrifuge for good and he had to get his thrills somewhere.  The first attempt wasn't publicized and was designed as a sub-orbital flight to test out the new rocket.  We got everything ready and when the time came for launch what greeted us was not a fiery launch but a fiery explosion.

In a moment of panic we rushed out to the pad with the rescue crews and began sifting through rubble, expecting a charred and dead Jeb to be lying at the bottom.  After almost an hour of searching we discovered, nothing.  We feared that Jeb was incinerated until someone looked up to see Jeb, on the tower, hanging by his suit on the edge with that crazy smile on his face.  I will never forget the next exchange, I shouted up at him to ask why he didn't call for help and he replied, "I don't need help, I have everything under control here.  You guys need some help?  It seems like you're looking for something but I don't know what you expect to find in that hunk of twisted metal."

After getting Jeb down and redesigning the rocket once more we decided to try for another crewed launch.  I got the press together, wearing a helmet this time, and gave my speech about the importance of boxes and how it was going to be a historic day to put a kerbal into orbit.  Then came the launch a nerve racking moment for all involved, well except for Jeb who I think fell asleep during the count down.

For those of you who came to see the launch in person I thank you.  Those who watched it live I also want to thank you.  Finally for those of you who missed it...you are whats wrong with our people!  Seriously the first member of our species is going into space and you decide to miss it? For what another rerun of Kermanfeld?  Anyways if you didn't see the thing there is a link below of the launch.

As you may know this launch wasn't just a success, it was a resounding success.  Jeb's quote about being so far up and moving so fast he could "punch the kraken in the face and get away" is already becoming the tag line of our little endeavor.  Like clockwork Jeb circled the planet 15 times before returning to the planet.  The amount of data and footage we got should keep the media at bay for quite a while.  Below I have linked some pictures and unreleased footage we got from the launch.

Second Stage Shot of Kerman II

Jeb's Helmet Cam

Kerbolrise

Parachute Camera, Decending

Descending Kerman II "Kraken Puncher" Capsule

Jebediah Kerman, Crazy Bad Ass

Kerman II "Kraken Puncher" Capsule

We aren't stopping here though, President Falanghe's challenge of "A kerbal on every planet and mun by the end of the decade" is hopefully going to keep us in the money and moving at a quick pace.  We are planning multiple launches over the next week to try and knock out our early goals, I have a few teams working on multiple designs and contracting with some outside companies.  It's going to be a busy week and not a single box or cat will be involved, don't know to cheer or cry.

Week 1: Satellite Practice

It's been a busy week, my first day on the job went...well smoother then I expected.  I arrived at my office to find a someone in a bomber jacket passed out in front of my door, wondering why anyone would let a bum into the offices I quickly roused him and told him he couldn't sleep here.  Turns out it was Jebediah Kerman, one of the lead pilots and engineers on the team.  We'd actually talked before, I designed the boxes for his rocket junkyard business before he joined KSP.  I'd never met him personally but what I heard through the phone disturbed me.  Now seeing him up close and personal I understand why I felt that way.

Jebediah, or Jeb as everyone around here calls him, is more then a few staples short of a box.  The kerman's unhinged.  As I walked into my office he started telling me about his plans for the recently designed Kerman I, the rocket system dubbed a one rocket 'feline holocaust' by the media.  Jeb wanted to try and launch trees into orbit to see the effect of vacuum on plant life.  I quickly learned the last director had given Jeb full control to do what he liked with the program and it was Jeb's half brained schemes that lead to the cat incidents.  I wanted to fire him on the spot, but the thing about firing emotionally charged individuals while they are in the middle of an episode is that it usually leads to homocide.  I simply smiled and nodded and told him "it's an interesting idea," but I would "have to get back to him."  He smiled that crazy smile and practically waltzed out the door.

Jebediah Kerman- Engineer, Entrepreneur, Thrill Seeker and Kerbalnaut

Now as you may have heard Jeb hasn't been fired.  That's because I discovered that, though he's the craziest crazy straw in the pack, he is the Kerbal who is keeping the whole operation running.  He is everywhere with everyone and is personally responsible for both building the rockets and training the kerbalnauts, along with William "Bill" and Robert "Bob" Kerman.  He even insists on showing off for new recruits during their training, here is some footage of him in the centrifuge.

I don't know when it stops, I haven't gotten to the end yet either.

He is a vital part of KSP and is irreplaceable; besides a ton of our equipment comes from his junkyard.  I've heard that Bob and Bill are more level headed so I figure that the three of them can make decisions together and that way the real zany ideas will be shot down.  So far it's worked well, I haven't heard the word "interplanetary pine tree" come out of Jeb's mouth in days.  They also have helped come up with our latest project, a line of satellites to test out the Kerman I's ability to deliver payloads into orbit.

The design was already done before I first came into work and all they needed was the go ahead and a name.  I let the dice roll and gave the launch my blessing and proudly named it the Box 1.  Then I saw the design and decided to name these things after seeing what they look like.

Box 1a Satellite

The day of the launch came and I proudly proclaimed that this was a turning point in KSP to the media.  It wasn't 10 seconds after that the damn thing blew up on the pad.  I'm missing patches of hair from where pits of it set my head aflame, I'm sure by now you have seen the pictures in the papers.  Another lesson was learned, don't talk about it until you think you can get it right. After some redesigns the next day we launched the thing with out a problem.

Most of the following pictures haven't been released to the press yet so you, my humble followers, will be the first public viewers of this material.  Most of the video footage is grainy and not really useable except for scientific study but we were able to pull some of the stills for your viewing pleasure. I promise we will try and give you some more and better photos in the future.

Kerman I Lift Off With Box 1a Satellite

2nd Stage Camera Shot of Payload

What We Think is Box 1a, Taken by the Telescope at Kerman Academy of Sciences

The only problem we had with the Box 1 was that it didn't do anything but play Norman Kerman's Kraken In The Sky to be used as a tracking signal, I swear its the last time I let Bill choose how to track these things.  A day later I helped with a redesign with some scientific instruments added to allow the nerds in the lab to learn more about Low Kerbin Orbit. I dubbed the second satellite Box 2 and we loaded it up on the last Kerman I we had constructed in the VAB.  This launch was much more...muted in terms of press but it's still giving us things our egg heads will be pouring over for weeks.  This time we were able to get some up close and personal shots of the thing in a totally intentional fly by, and nothing else, made by its cousin Box 1 on top of the on board cameras.

2nd Stage Camera Shot of Payload, Just Before the Release of the Box 2a Satellite

Box 2a Taken by the Passing Box 1a in a Near Collis...erm I Mean Planned Rendezvous.

 All and all it has been a busy week, historic in that the first satellites every made by a kerbal are now orbiting our green blue ball of a world and that I didn't have to launch a single cat or was fired.  I think I am getting the hang of this rocket science thing. especially the angle parts, its like box building but with more explosions.  Next week we will try and go for putting our first kerbal in space and returning him to kerbin, maybe in one peice.  I hear some big politician is going to make a big thing about it before the launch, hopefully we can get some more funds if he raises a big enough stick about it.  I will keep you guys informed about the whole endeavor.

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Writers Note: All the images are screen shots taken with fraps, future ones will use the in game screen shot creator and video using fraps.  The other images are from timmon26's KSP related images.  Check him out, he is a great artist.

Day 0: Introduction

So I decided to chronicle my career at KSP in a blog.  Well not really 'decided', more like 'forced to'. With all the uproar about the last director firing cats into space, for science, the board figured they needed some positive press for once, so here I am.  I hope this will turn into a positive experience for all or at least won't get me fired.

Company Photo, Dashing Ain't I?

Tomorrow is my first day of official work and to be honest I am a little nervous.  I don't have much experience with this space stuff, seeing I made my career in box design.  My assistant assures me that being the director is mostly just a political position.  However the last director was a dolphin tamer and he ended up launching cats so here's to hoping everything goes well.

Seeing as I don't know much in the way of rocket science I decided the first thing to do is explain how I got this position in the first place.  I got a degree in the box sciences from Kerman Science Academy 4 years ago, I opened my first box design company 2 years ago and today it is the premiere box design company on the entire planet.  My passion for the perfect angles and maximum efficiency won hearts all over Kerman and the eyes of the board of directors.  

When I was asked to fill the position I jumped at the chance, mostly because they lied and told me it was the director of boxes.  What I didn't know was that they had changed the name of the position just to entice me, it is now Program Director of Kerbal Space Program...and Boxes.  Seeing as I am an Gentleman, and morbidly fascinated with this whole space thing, I am going ahead with it.  

I am told that some of our pilots and engineers are already waiting by my office door with ideas for the next project.  I am sure they are all things that do with space and rockets.  Although I really hope some of them have something to do with boxes and none of them with cats, unless it's that Schrödinger cat I've been hearing about.  Also to the engineer who gave the idea of launching felines to the previous director, I'm going to give you one of my boxes for free...to pack your things.  It's either that or you will be the next 'cat' sent into space if you catch my drift.